Joe knew the strange hard things poking through his gums meant opportunity. New growth, new gain, maybe even a surplus! He was a proud little democrat and spent most of his formative years smiling uncontrollably to show off his best new asset.
Joe knew the drill. Give up the little ones and get the real thing but the idea of not having a complete smile for any period of time was something he just couldn’t handle. So he took action. Joe bought a mouth guard and named it "Secretary of Defense."
Joe knew these were the last set of teeth he would ever grow. He knew from his grandparents that dentures were expensive and fell out sometimes. He decided to keep his tooth brush in a fire safe box under his bed to protect it from bacteria and all other forms of domestic terrorism.
Joe knew Scranton high would not be easy on his teeth. With all the vending machines, cafeteria food and bake sales, high school wasn't going to get him a plaque on the wall but plaque on his teeth. Joe extended his reach across lunch room tables, shook hands with the cavity ridden and vowed to change America.
Joe knew the power of a smile but had not yet discovered the strength of his own. Not until Bo's dead TI-83 regained full power did he realize, THIS was the alternative energy source America needed. He saw the light and followed it to Congress.
Joe doesn’t know what the future holds or if America can survive its overindulgence. He doesn’t know when wars will end or if they will ever be a thing of the past. He doesn’t know why he looks so good, but knows America likes it.